Shower Curtain Rod: 7; Your Future Wife: 2

Dear Future Husband:
Yes. That loud crash you would have heard this morning (you know – if we’d already met & married) was the shower curtain rod falling in the master bathroom.

Again

Now – you should know that there are friends out there that remind me a lot that I’m freakishly smart. I am actually rather handy around the house. (Single girls have to learn a few skills, sometimes, you know?)

But this particular shower curtain rod has become my kryptonite. I’ve re-positioned it a few times, adjusted (and I thought, locked) the tension rod… and yet it keeps falling.

The good news I suppose is that I’ve managed to not let it hit me on the noggin these last few times. (I’ve not always been so lucky, but – I’ll take my little victories where I can).

Get here quick & fix this dang thing for me, OK? I promise I’ll stop reminding you –
PS You’re Late.

In case you were wondering. I’ve moved. (so – if you were worried that you would be expected to call all your friends & hire a UHaul or something – you’re safe now).

The majority of the big “honey-do’s” have also been covered. (at least the immediate ones anyway…)

Don’t hate me – but – in your absence, I did hire a handyman.
(Not because these were things I couldn’t manage myself… I just lacked bandwidth & the extra pair of arms in some cases). Sometimes the convenience factor is well worth the extra cost. (Just sayin’).

All that to say – I know I’ve been quiet – but you’ve been freakin’ MIA.
So – maybe it’s time to download the new maps for your GPS?

seriously.
PS – you’re STILL Late.

Dear future husband: keep the flowers & candy. this year’s valentine’s celebration requires popsicles.

and/or an irish coffe

(that is all)

and yes – (all things considered) even without the popsicles or adult beverage items (or even you) – this year is *way* better than the year I had chicken pox…

still…
Just hurry up already…

I just want to look up at Heaven, tug on God’s sleeve & say:

“Ummm, Dad? – I get the feeling that You might be trying to tell me something, so – if you don’t mind, can I just say –

‘I don’t get it. Would you please say that ONE. MORE. TIME. (and use really small, simple words so I will be sure to comprehend?!!)'”

(thanks!)

Remember that power outtage we had around Thanksgiving?
It seems I’ve never re-set (a single one) of the clocks.
(it’s not that I don’t know how… I think about it a lot & figure I’ll get to it later…)

weird. right?

I wonder if that would drive you crazy or not…
(perhaps you could tell me if/when you get here)

on the upside – if I leave them this way, maybe you’re not running so late after all?!

PS…

As 2011 draws to a close I thought I’d look back to whatever I posted last year…

Apparently it was not a holiday-themed post.
*smirk*

Perhaps I was avoiding the obvious – “Top Ten Best (or WORST) New Year’s Eves” or references to scenes from (pick your favorite classic NYE scene in a movie). Naturally – those lists may yet show up on this blog – but not tonight. In the words of Roger Rabbit – I can only post those “When it’s the most funny”.

So – if you’ll allow me a moment of nostalgia, I will say this:

2011 was not an easy year for a lot of people. For some – it was downright awful. So tonight – I would like to be grateful for the people and moments that have been most beautiful and lovely and surprising (and some that were just down right silly). Those are the things that I want to hold onto – and carry forward in my heart and mind. The rest – I’d like to just slip through my hands like last year’s confetti and swept away for good.

I’m just going to wish everyone the very best for the coming year… that we might discard the disappointments and hurts and turn instead with hope and promise for what lies ahead of us (if only we will embrace it):
JOY. HEALING. LAUGHTER. LOVE. PEACE. KINDNESS. LIFE and HOPE.

May God bless and keep each of you (and your families) and may His grace shine upon you & give you PEACE.

Oh yeah – and – lest you thought I forgot to include a personal message to my future husband (whoever & wherever you are). Happy New Year, and – don’t go kissing anyone else at midnight, okay?

I had lunch with a friend recently who was not aware of this blog. (I know. I know… crazy right?) (I expect the Today Show to book me any day now….)

*laughs*

This (wonderful and married) friend and I were discussing my singleness and she asked me this really interesting question:

“Do you think (whoever he is) might be worried that you would write about him in your blog?”

I’ve pondered that for a while… because it’s a concept rife with paradox.

If he actually is my future husband, then – I’m already (sort of) writing about our relationship… even tho’ we’ve not yet met. So (even if the privacy thing is an issue) it’s not like I can un-ring that bell.

Then again – perhaps the concern is that the people who actually know me (as the author of this blog) might also know him… and thus know too much about our personal & private lives.

So – let me say this to my friends and family (and to my future husband who apparently has as much trouble with Google maps lying to him as I do):

our conversations will not make it into this blog without at least one of the following in place:
a) your permission or
b) your complete anonymity (why do you think I never mention names?)

You can consider this my own personal “any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental” clause…

Which is to say – if a conversation between you & I were ever to appear on this blog, then no one else will know it’s you unless you tell them.

Deal?

Oh – and – there’s just one more thing: if you really want me to stop writing this blog, there’s an easy way to make that happen… you just have to ask me.
(in person of course)

;-D

PS – Christmas is just around the corner. If you’re planning on making an appearance, could you maybe give me a heads up so I’m prepared?

You know that cartoon voice I sometimes get that you love so much?

Not the one that sounds like my aunt from Boston…. the *other one* (part Mae West, part Jessica Rabbit, and just lower, softer & sultrier than my normal voice)? Well – this week it’s finally given up the ghost to full-blown laryngitis (but at least it lasted all week).

So for today (& maybe tomorrow), I’m going to be on self-imposed vocal rest. (lots of tea, honey, perhaps something a little stronger).

I know, I know. Inconceivable, right?

It’s a great opportunity for you to do all the talking… and maybe a little mind reading.
Go ahead. give it a shot.

Maybe I will let you get the last word?!

PS…

Just thought you should know.
Granted – this wonderfully cozy & warm (oversized) Irish knit sweater (which i hand carried over from county Cork) is technically *not* yours.

But it almost could be.

You know – if we knew we’d gone there together, I would have convinced you to buy it in that little shop… Told you how handsome you looked in it.

We would have walked the cliffs of Moher together. And as soon as these worsted wool strands had caught the scent of your cologne I might have “borrowed” it. You’d pretend to mind – but secretly you’d love that I loved having you all around me. And let’s face it – you’d have known well enough to know you really had to buy two anyway.

It’s cold here in In the southwest. The winds. The chill. (and not a flake of snow).

So I’ve got the fire going. And I’ve got this sweater on which makes me think of you… (whoever you turn out to be).

Apparently Santa only brings boyfriends for Christmas on the Hallmark channel…

So we might have to find our own holiday magic this year.

(hurry up, okay?)

One of my clients routinely emails me thinking I am a colleague by the same (first) name. Today I got an email from someone at that company whom I’ve never met (also expecting me to be someone else).

maybe this is a stretch, but it’s a little like stepping out of my life & into a Tim Burton movie.

makes me wonder sometimes if I have lost my muchness and am, in fact, “the wrong kara”.

*ponders*
well then. bring on the damn jabberwocky & let’s get this thing done.

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